Do you have a family member who drinks too much? If so, we've put together a list of tips that can help you deal with this difficult situation.
What makes this situation so difficult is that people who drink alcohol, enjoy drinking alcohol and may not be ready or willing to quit. They may cut back, but that usually doesn't last and their intake creeps up again to the upset and hurt of their family. The other reason this is so difficult is because it puts a lot off pressure on the family. The non-drinkers are often having to confront, argue, and plead with the drinker who is disrupting the health and well-being of the family unit. This creates a host of other problems, blaming, rifts, and hurt feelings. The drinking member may also downplay their part in the family drama. They may not see the link between their drinking and the other problems. Their denial can be a huge hurdle to overcome.
Alcohol Abuse — How to Handle It
If you're currently dealing with alcohol abuse in your family, then here are some suggestions that might be helpful:
Look for Signs of Alcoholism
Before you decide to help a family member, it will be important to make sure that a problem actually exists. Warning signs of alcohol abuse can include the following:
- Problems at Work or School
- Blackouts
- Significant time spent drinking or spent on plans to drink (buying alcohol, elaborate wine cellars, being consumed with alcohol etc.)
- Heavy Drinking: binge or daily
- Legal Problems
- Problems with major responsibilities
Ask the Person to Stop Drinking
If you've concluded that a problem with alcohol does exist, then you will need to bring your concerns up with your family member. Chances are, you've done this before but if not then it is best to sit down with the person one and one, when they're sober, and explain your reasoning as to why you believe he or she should stop drinking. Though you don’t want to sound mean or forceful, it will be important to be completely honest. Back up your reasoning with specific evidence of incidents when the person was drunk. If you've done this many times before with little to no change, then you may need to take videos on your phone or get more family members involved to help break the denial. Ask if they are willing to attend an AA meeting and then go with them- that day if possible.
Have an Intervention
If the person still will not stop drinking and the situation is escalating, then you may have no choice but to have an intervention. If you decide to go with this option, then you will need other family members and friends of the person with the alcohol problem to come together and address the situation head on. It's helpful to have a trained professional there as well who can keep the conversation productive so the person won't feel ganged up on. Have brochures and treatment options available so you can ask the abuser to get help that day. Again, having specific examples as to why the person in question should stop drinking will be important.
Protect Yourself and Your Family
As you know, we can never force someone to change, we can only encourage them with our love and honesty. In order for someone to quit drinking and end their alcohol abuse, he or she has to want to quit. Sometimes, you will not be able to live with the abuser any longer and you will make hard decisions to protect yourself and your family.
